Being a buddhist is easy
Growing up in western culture has its challenges. The religious side can be patriarchal and the rules can be heavy. The 10 commandments carry the “thou shall” and “thou shall not” messages. The dogma is dualistic. There is a god, he is a he, and what he says goes. Growing up in a Jewish home, these were the lessons I learned. In some ways I felt grateful; I was not a Christian. To me, their beliefs seemed much more scary. Their god seemed meaner to me. It’s all the same god though, right?
As an adult I have held onto the cultural aspect of my past, but not the dogma. I find it difficult to believe in a god per se, and I don’t like the messages of guilt to drive my behavior. I believe in my own autonomy (as much of a fallacy as that can be in the world), and I like to believe that my morals come from within, not from the fear of a deity and my coming to terms with my behavior at the end of my life - note to readers, there is no “Hell” in Judaism. There is shame however, and Jewish guilt is a thing that Jewish mothers pass down genetically to their daughters so that they can make their own children feel guilty. While this fact is medically unproven, I swear it’s a thing. I just don’t swear it to any god.
Almost 3 years ago, when I stepped into a Buddhist gathering I remember thinking, “This is so easy!” There was no dogma; there was dharma. There was no guilt. There was no god to tell me if I was good or bad. What I especially loved was the, “Come as you are” attitude of Pureland Buddhism. This message to me was to accept myself as I am, faults and all. I was hooked.
Every Sunday I started to attend the gatherings. Every Sunday I sat with my Sangha. The sangha is the community, the group of people in the room who wanted to sit together, recite affirmations together, chant together, and meditate together. Their hearts were so full of acceptance and compassion; I really felt like this was my tribe. I may have started life as one of the “chosen people,” but these were the people I chose to be around. And choosing these people, I did not have to forsake the others. I was welcome to be a JewBu - a Jewish Buddhist.
Every Sunday, there was a dharma talk. The dharma is the Buddha’s teachings. The Buddha is not a deity, not a god; he was just a guy who lived 2500 or so years ago. And then he died. The end. But while he was alive, he became enlightened with so many thoughts on how to live life in an optimal way. And his teachings became the dharma. While these teachings are old, these teachings are timeless. One of the cool things about the dharma is that it is up for discussion. It’s not a “thou shall’ or “thou shall not” message but more of a, “if you want to make life more livable and be more comfortable with how you live your life, try these guidelines instead of what you may be doing right now.” In addition, when our Sensei gives the dharma talk he doesn’t just end it and move on; he encourages those of us in the sangha to speak up and provide our insights on the dharma talk. Sometimes the sharing of thoughts goes on even longer than the dharma talk itself. It’s the opportunity for each of us to speak out and share how this information impacts our own lives. During the week, we now have daily meditations. During these sessions people often share how their lives have been impacted by dharma teachings and how they are getting along. To me it’s all such a beautiful way to show how our lives are intertwined and how we connect into a oneness - as the dharma calls it, “The oneness of life.”
So here I am almost 3 years later. My Buddhist fellowship has become even more integrated into my life, especially with the introduction of Covid in our world. Now the fellowship is more important than ever in helping me ground and feel connected to my community. So, is it still “so easy?”
Well maybe, maybe not. Every Sunday we sit together and say affirmations such as, “Thank you cruel adversity”, and “Thank you clinging and aversions.” These words are reminders of the first and second of the Buddhist Noble Truths: “Life is suffering” and “there is a cause to our suffering.” While there is no god saying, “Stop it you fool! Stop wallowing in your problems and stop your suffering!” or, “Pray to me and I will protect you from suffering,” there is a realization that I hold responsibility for my feelings. That my friends, is a pretty heavy awareness. If I cling to my pain then only I can be responsible for that pain. Wouldn’t it be so much “easier” to just say, “my life sucks and it isn’t fair?”
There are others lessons too. Ones like, “in compassion there is no respect and no disrespect, no responsibility, no judgement.” So to be compassionate I am not judging you. And I give compassion to everyone and everything, even thoughts I disagree with. This lesson doesn’t mean I become a doormat or I acquiesce, but I do recognize you are suffering and I send empathy your way. Is that easy? Well just look at the political divide going on in our country today. That’s one space you can see how hard it can be. I could go on and on with the lessons I learn daily in studying the dharma. I realize that the Bodhisattva vows are spot on when they say, “The dharma gates are endless. I vow to open them.” As I said in a blog post a few weeks ago, there are an infinite number of things to learn. After I learn today, I still have infinity minus one things to learn. So I focus on the value of learning and my heart becoming bigger and bigger. Because my heart too has an infinite capacity.
So what is my definition of “easy?” I think when I first discovered Buddhism, the definition of easy was that I didn’t have to follow a dogma or guilt myself into certain behaviors. Now I think it means becoming aware, awakened to the endless learnings and openings of life. While that may not seem easy, it suits me so much better than following rules because something bigger than I am says I, “have to.”
