Maybe I Should Just Use Paper Plates?

If you don’t already know, I live alone.  I have a nice home with all the modern  appliances.  I even have the giant front-load washer and dryer.  It’s kind of silly, I know, because I do laundry maybe once a week.  I bought them just before my daughter left for college, because back then there was lots of laundry.

I don’t necessarily need the top of the line fancy shmancy appliances, but I like things that work effectively.  While I’ve only lived in my house for 6 years, the house itself is 21 years old.  So I am assuming that the appliances are around the same age (except the washer and dryer, those moved with me).  So last year when my microwave arced (no, I did not put metal inside it), I just chalked that up to a 20-year appliance performance and bought a new one.  The same with my fridge.  The fridge seals were breaking down, and I was concerned the fridge would just conk out.  I didn’t want to wait for that day.  So with some money from my gig with the Census last summer, I bought myself a new fridge.

Appliances for food are important.  I like having fresh food and properly and also easily cooked food.  The dishwasher however, isn’t that important to me.  Until it is.  I am assuming the dishwasher in my house is the same age as the rest of the appliances.  Similar to the washer and dryer, I don’t use it very often, maybe once a week.  Honestly, I live alone.  Why should I even need to use a dishwasher?  I could just wash my dishes as I use them right?  But what would I use the dishwasher space for then?  Extra storage?  

Recently, the dishwasher stopped working correctly.  I use the word “recently” as a subjective term.  Honestly, I don’t remember when the dishwasher stopped working correctly.  When I told That One Guy (TOG) about it, he said, “Was it working correctly when you bought the house?”  I said, “I think so.  I don’t remember.”  And I don’t.  I just know that right now, and at least over the past 6 months, my dishwasher has not worked correctly.  It leaves a white thin film, like a light dust coating, on some of my glassware.  I also see it on my silverware.  On the dishes and bowls, it looks like stripes.  It’s not attractive.  Worse yet, the dishes aren’t clean!  Why run a dishwasher when it isn’t cleaning the dishes?

When I first started getting frustrated with the dishwasher, I ran to the internet.  Because where else do you find the answers to everything?  I Googled, “How do you stop your dishwasher from leaving a white film?”  The recommendation was to run the dishwasher empty with a cup of vinegar inside.  I followed the instructions.  Voila!   The dishes and glasses didn’t have film on them anymore...until they did.  About 2 washes later, the film had returned.  I figured it would be kind of ridiculous to run vinegar through a dishwasher every 3 washes.  My mother never ran vinegar through the dishwasher.  Well, maybe she did.  I wasn’t very in tune with what my mother did in the kitchen when I was a kid.  I was too busy doing kid stuff.  

Then one of my son’s told me about a video he saw on YouTube about dishwashers.  Apparently, there were 2 things I didn’t know about dishwashers.  First, you should run your hot water before you run the dishwasher.  This way, the water is already heated up when the dishwasher starts, and you aren’t running cold (useless for dish cleaning) water through the dishwasher.  Interestingly enough, my ex-husband always claimed this was true, and I thought it was just his theory.  It turns out he was right.  Second, you should fill that little basket next to the big soap basket with some soap.  This little basket is actually for the pre-wash and it will help to get your dishes even cleaner.  I had no idea!  I started doing both activities.  The dishes remained frosty.

Then a few months later, I got an email from Wirecutter on how to clean a dishwasher.  If you aren’t familiar with Wirecutter.com, it’s a website run by The NY Times.  On the website, they review all sorts of products like pots and pans, jackets, water bottles, and even...dishwashers!  About a year ago or more, they started sending out emails called, “How to clean everything.”  They’ve provided information on how to clean sneakers,  ovens, hardwood floors, and even...sex toys!  Believe it or not, NY Times readers do have libidos.

Anyway, back to the dishwasher.  Wirecutter recommended I thoroughly clean the dishwasher.  I thought, “What the hell?  It’s a dishwasher!  All it does is clean!  How could it be dirty?”  Then I took a look at the dirty footprints in my shower and decided, that yes,  my dishwasher probably needed to be cleaned.  I went ahead and took apart the washer.  I cleaned the gross screen on the bottom.  I cleaned under the parts that couldn’t be removed.  I washed the sprayer arm .  I stuck toothpicks in the holes of the top sprayer to clear out any clogs.  Then I put the whole thing back together again.  The next time the washer was full, I got excited.  Maybe this time the dishes would be clean.  Nope, it was white film again - ugh.  In addition to cleaning the dishwasher, Wirecutter recommended that I use a certain dish detergent, as well as special dish rinse.  I purchased both.  I put them in my dishwasher.  No luck.

At this point, TOG said he thought the film might be leftover soap.  Was the dishwasher rinsing properly?  How would I know?  Do I climb in the dishwasher when it’s running?  If I open the dishwasher when it’s running, the cycle stops.  Everything is wet and steamy from the water running through the top and bottom of the washer.  So I’m assuming the machine is rinsing.  But I tried one last thing.  I didn’t put the extra soap in the pre-wash basket.  I thought maybe that’s too much soap and if TOG is right, that’s why it isn’t rinsing off.  No luck.  I still have filmy dishes.  I’m done.

So now, I’m looking for a new dishwasher.  You know what?  It isn’t as easy as it seems.  I headed to the Home Depot website.  There are 183 dishwashers listed.  183!  How the hell do I pick from that many dishwashers?  I start looking at reviews.  Even those with 4.5/5 reviews have the occasional 1 or 2 star reviews.  These say something like, “The dishwasher is crap.  Everything is dirty.” Or, “The dishwasher was horrible.  it leaked all over my floor.”  Even my dysfunctional dishwasher isn’t working that poorly.  It was TOO MUCH INFORMATION.  I felt confused.

But what about Wirecutter?  Could they help me with my indecision?  I headed over to their website and typed in, “Best dishwasher.”  I was greeted with a photo of a dishwasher with detailed glowing reviews.  There was even a hyperlink to Home Depot where I could just order the dishwasher.  I pressed the link.  Boom - I was on the page with the details of the dishwasher.   The price - $900.  Wow!  That’s a lot of money for an appliance I only use once a week.  Perhaps I would use it for more pots if I spent that much money?

I reached out to a friend.  She has a big family and seems to buy dishwashers all the time.  I asked for a recommendation.  She said, “I can’t give one.  They’re all pieces of crap.”  Her only recommendation was to get a quiet one.  She said the cheaper models are loud.  I went back to the Home Depot page for the dishwasher that Wirecutter recommended.  It had a sound chart.  It showed that the dishwasher was louder than a whisper and quieter than a normal conversation.  That sounded pretty cool!  It turns out it is the quietest dishwasher in the United States.  That’s pretty impressive. I think.  I wonder where the quietest dishwasher in the world is?  Switzerland seems quiet.  Maybe they  have a quieter dishwasher.

Anyway, I’m still not convinced.  Maybe, by the time this blog post is published I will have decided what the best dishwasher is for me, or maybe I’ll just buy the $900 one.  The only thing left to replace is the oven.  I should probably start looking at those now so I don’t get sticker shock.  Interestingly enough, Wirecutter’s favorite oven is $50 cheaper than the dishwasher.  How could that be?  It makes yummy food!  That’s priceless!