Boots

Back in January 2007, I fell skiing and tore my ACL.  That accident was a big deal for me.  I had signed up for women’s ski lessons (“She Ski,” it was called), and now that opportunity was over.  I had purchased a season ski pass, and now that would go unused.  I was looking forward to skiing with my family, and now that wasn’t going to happen.  I was now homebound, awaiting surgery, and waiting to heal.

My surgery happened in February 2007, and quickly after that, the physical therapy started.  I went to every physical therapy appointment and practiced my exercises at home.  My goal was to get back on skis the next winter.  Even before then, my goal was to hike with my family that summer.

Late that spring, my family went on a vacation to Moab, UT.  There we hiked, and I managed to get myself moving on all of the hiking trails.  It wasn’t easy, but I did it.  Later that July, we took a family vacation to Rocky Mountain National Park.  The peaks were higher and the trails more challenging.  I really struggled with the hikes.  My then husband figured it might be my hiking boots.  Turns out he was right.

He wasn’t completely correct.  The boots I had were flimsy for the amount of hiking, the elevation, and the recovery I was going through.  The outfitter we visited also recommended hiking poles.  But the big deal?  He put me in a brand-new pair of LOWA  hiking boots.  These were German-made, heavy, all-leather boots.  They were made to withstand the trail challenges that we were encountering.  I put them on and away we went.

These boots lasted a long time.  I wore them on more hiking vacations.  I took trips to Bryce Canyon and Zion National Parks wearing these boots.  I wore them when I returned to Moab.  I even wore these boots in 2018 when I trekked down and up the Grand Canyon.  These boots went on smaller hikes too.  I wore them to hike in my neighborhood.  I wore them when I moved down to Salt Lake City and hiked in the Cottonwood Canyons and Millcreek Canyon.  Everywhere I hiked, these boots were on my feet.  Even when my marriage ended less than 5 years after buying the boots, the boots were still a staple of my hiking experiences.

While the boots stayed with me, my body adjusted and changed.  My weight fluctuated, and gravity continued to push on my body as it had for the many years prior.  As a result, my feet changed.  My toes spread out a bit.  Still, I wore the boots through all of my hikes.

In fall 2020, during the height of the COVID pandemic, I decided to take a little vacation.  I had been stuck at home for 6 months or so.  I had cancelled multiple vacations overseas.  I decided I would take a small trip away into the wild.  I decided to take a trip to Bryce Canyon National Park.  I figured I would be hiking outdoors most of the time, so I would be COVID-safe.  The second day of my trip, I took a side trip to Calf Creek Canyon.  This state trail is an incredibly beautiful space with a giant waterfall at the end of the hike.  A lot of the hike is through dry sand, which can be more challenging than packed dirt.  There I was, marching along in my trusty hiking boots.  I hadn’t been on that hike since before I had my skiing accident over 14 years prior.  My feet were hot, sweaty, and swollen.  Sadly for me, they no longer fit very well in the trusty hiking boots.  When I finished the hike, I didn’t take my boots off.  I chose to go back to Bryce Canyon and hike a little bit more.  All in all, I probably hiked over 10 miles in those boots that day.

That evening, when I took off the boots, sadness set in.  It was clear that these boots were no longer the right boots for me.  My feet were raw, red, and covered with blisters.  Blisters are a hikers worst enemy.  You can’t go hiking anywhere with blisters on your feet.

The next morning, I put on a pair of Teva sandals and did some light hiking on easy trails.  Unfortunately, my feet could barely handle the pain.  Later that day, I headed towards Zion National Park where I was meeting friends to hike.  Sadly, my  feet were too far gone to enjoy Zion.  After a short walk in the park, my friends and I went to an art gallery.  There, I walked around the rooms in my socks; the boots were just too painful.

When I got home from the trip, I put the boots aside.  They held so many fond memories, and I had so many amazing experiences in them.  I could not imagine letting them go.  I figured maybe I could shellack them and use them as planters in my garden.  I put them on a shelf in my garage.

After I was vaccinated and felt safe about going to try on new hiking boots, I headed to the local outfitters and purchased a new pair of boots.  The new boots are much lighter weight and have a toe box big enough for my toes.  I’ve since hiked in Moab, Bryce Canyon, and Zion with them, as well as local trails.  I am pretty satisfied with them, and I hope to make new hiking boot memories with them.

My old boots still sit in my garage where I see them every day when I head out in my car.  I haven’t shellacked them or put them in my garden.  Yet the memories from them are so strong, I can’t imagine parting with them.

Since the pandemic has subsided somewhat, I’ve joined a group called “The Happiness Project” here in Salt Lake City.  This group meets once a month, and we make grill cheese sandwiches for the unsheltered people living on the streets.  We then take the wrapped sandwiches, bottles of water, and various snacks out to the people and provide them with the nourishment.  A couple of weeks ago, we headed out to the space armed with the same foods as well as soup, coffee, and bags of clothing.  This particular visit, it was cold and rainy.  Sometimes, when we go out on the streets, we have to approach the unsheltered people to let them know what we are providing.  This time, in the rain and cold, they came out to us.  They were looking for warmth on this miserable day.  They were eager to receive the warm and dry clothing we had to offer.

The clothing went quickly.  There were still people coming to the truck, and we had run out of gloves, pants, and jackets.  All we had left were socks and hats.  Still, folks were grateful for those items, taking socks to use as mittens as well.  As we handed out these things, I thought about my home.  When I moved to Salt Lake City over 7 years ago, I brought all of my then college-aged daughter’s clothing with me.  So much of it still remains in my house even though she’s been independent for over 4 years.  Did I really need to keep all of her old clothing?  Maybe I could give some of it away.  I wasn’t sure if I should ask her about it over the phone or wait until she came home for the holidays.  These people were desperate for clothing now!

A couple of days ago, this topic of helping the unsheltered came up at morning mediation.  A woman talked about how she saw someone in the park whose feet were terribly cold.  She went back to her house and found an old pair of boots.  She brought them back to the woman in the park.  I thought, “Damn.  I have a pair of boots in my garage that are doing NOTHING.”

My thoughts went back and forth.  Sure, I could donate these boots. But what about all the memories attached to them?  How long will they last in someone else’s hands?  Will they be lost or stolen?

I reminded myself about the process of giving something away. Whether it is a gift or a hand-me-down, or a donation., once it’s out of my hands, it’s not mine anymore.  I cannot worry about it or have feelings about how it is cared for.  It’s the same with these boots.  They’ve been sitting in my garage for TWO YEARS!  Do I need them as a planter?  Hell no!  I have plenty of pots to put flowers in.  No, these boots need to warm someone else’s feet.  Someone else needs them way more than I do.

Next month, when I head out to make grilled cheese sandwiches, I will be sure to bring the boots along.  They need to take the chill out of someone else’s feet and be there for new experiences.