Love isn’t love till you give it away
About a year ago a dear friend gifted me a crystal. She told me the crystal had the power to fulfill my intentions. I do believe that my thoughts become things- if I think negatively I attract negativity in my life. But a crystal that will fulfill my intentions- I have to admit I was a little wary. That said I figured it certainly can’t hurt to set my intentions with the crystal. To do so I first spoke to the crystal and gave my intentions- I wanted a partner who was kind, compassionate, fun, grateful, and intimate. Then as my friend instructed I put the crystal in the sun for a day. Finally I put it on my alter- a space where I keep treasures that are valuable to my heart.
You may be thinking, “What? This is the woman who wrote the blog about the ridiculousness of Happily Ever After. She doesn’t need a man. What in the world is she doing?” Well, while I do have a wonder full, present, authentic life, I still continue to hope for true love.
Every few days I would see the crystal on my alter. I would hold it and whisper the intentions to myself. Often I would pick up the crystal before a first date, hopeful that I might find that partner who met my intentions. Honestly, I don’t think I would know if someone met the five items on a first date but I still wanted to keep the intentions clear in my mind. I also know that once I set an intention that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen right away. In fact, sometimes when I set out on a course life goes completely the other way than what I intended. That’s just how things go- I keep plugging away at what I want and hope for the best while living in the moment. So even if my dates turned out to be a “one and done”- someone I went out with once and never wanted to see again, I felt that focusing on the intentions was worth the effort. Additionally, somewhere in my dating journey I realized my dating practice was more about having fun than beating myself up for not finding “the one”. So I kept my focus on the intentions but without expectations.
Shortly after the demise of Number 5 (see the “Summer Lovin’” blog if you are unclear on who Number 5) I met someone new who has asked to be referred to as ‘That One Guy”. For simplicity’s sake I’ll just call him TOG. TOG is not like the typical guys I have dated in the past. He’s younger, and introverted. He is an outdoorsman who is also into Tarot cards. He’s insightful, thoughtful, and deep without a college degree. While some of these may be traits I haven’t connected with before none if these traits raise any issues for me. Most importantly, he is a kind, compassionate, fun, grateful, and intimate man. He meets all the “intention” criteria and he has found his way into my heart. I believe he’s going to camp out there for a while. How long? I’m not so sure. What I know is in the present and presently I’m hooked.
So, I looked at my crystal the other day and thought, “Hey? What purpose is this crystal serving me now? I have TOG in my life.” I decided then and there to give the crystal to TOG. It was then that my brain stepped in and said, “What the hell are you doing? So you have TOG. It’s too soon. How can you be sure TOG gives you all the right traits you set in your intention?” Interestingly enough, my heart replied. She said, “Hearts don’t wear watches. They don’t make decisions based on timeframes. I know that TOG provides all these traits. There’s no need for the crystal anymore“. With my heart’s words I figured the decision had been made. But then my brain was back again with another statement. My brain said, “Now wait a minute. You might have TOG now but will you have TOG forever? What if things end with TOG. You’ve never had a relationship that has lasted forever. Won’t you need the crystal when things end with TOG? I mean maybe what you have with TOG will last forever but can you be sure?” That’s when my heart said a beautiful thing. She said, “Remember, hearts don’t wear watches. I don’t know how long the relationship will TOG will last. I don’t care. I beat in the present. In this present moment the crystal is no longer needed. That’s all that matters. I won’t worry about the future. I won’t bring fear from the past into this decision. The crystal goes”. And that was when my brain went silent.
That night, I saw TOG. I put my intention crystal in his hand and explained why I had it. Then I explained why I didn’t need it anymore. I said, “This crystal has served it’s purpose and brought me to you. It’s your crystal now. You may set your own intentions with it”. TOG was really touched. He was grateful. He was all the things I would want that person who received my intention crystal to be. And in that moment I felt joy.