Finding comfort in an unexpected space
I am retired. That means I don’t have a paying job. That means I live off the savings and investments I created during my working life. So, what else does it mean?
For some, being retired means traveling. I love to travel. In 2018, the year I retired, I visited my son in Boulder, I hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon, and I went to Florida twice. I visited my sister in Maryland. I went to Mexico for a yoga retreat. I moved my daughter to Milwaukee, and on the way I went to a wedding in Colorado. I visited family in San Francisco. For the grand finale of the year, I spent 6 weeks in Bali.
2019 was a little less busy travel-wise, but still there was a decent amount of traveling. Among other things, I took my first vacation in an RV with That One Guy (TOG). When 2020 came along, there was an intention for big travel again. On March 23, 2020 I was scheduled to travel to India, Vietnam, Cambodia, and Thailand. On March 12, the India leg of my trip was cancelled due to COVID. As a result, I decided to cancel the Southeast Asia portion of my trip. Good thing too, because if I had gone, how the hell would I have gotten out?
When my trips were cancelled, I was distraught. Here it was, the trip of a lifetime down the drain. I was so disappointed. Then, I was disappointed in myself for being disappointed. I mean how could I be so upset? People around the world were dying! There was no sign that this horrible illness was going to let up. What was going on? Would we collapse as an economy? Would I get sick and die? When would I see my children again?
One thing didn’t change. During that time, RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 12 was airing on TV. If you don’t know anything about RuPaul’s Drag Race, it’s not a car race. It’s a reality show hosted by the famous drag queen, RuPaul. The show is based in the US. Drag queens around the country send demo tapes to RuPaul, and he picks 15 or so queens to perform on the show. Each week, these queens compete in different challenges to win awards or get booted off the show, depending on their performance. I started watching RuPaul’s Drag Race in 2012 during season 4. My eldest son came home from college and told us all about it. My 3 children and I would sit on my bed and watch the show. It was a bonding moment. Before the next season, I watch the prior 3 seasons so I would understand all the queen history. After that, I was hooked. Every winter, I would look forward to the next season of RuPaul’s Drag Race.
So, during COVID, I still had RuPaul’s Drag Race to watch. The world was going to hell in a hand basket, but there were still queens dancing on the stage, waiting for me to see who would win and who would “lip-sync for her life.” Shortly after season 12 closed, Canada’s Drag Race started its first season. Once again, I was able to escape from the crisis of COVID, curl up on my couch, and let the queens delight me. It was my oasis. Shortly after that series aired, RuPaul’s Drag Race UK had its second season. I was being emotionally supported by a group of people in glitter and gowns. It was working. My vacation wasn’t restored, my family wasn’t seeing each other, but each week, the queens were lifting my spirits.
Honestly, I’m not a huge fan of television. I find most reality shows fake and snarky. They create drama for the sake of drama. I struggle to sit through an entire episode of The Bachelor. But show me a bunch of queens in dresses, and I’m stuck to the TV. I appreciated their boldness. I knew that each of them had gone against the norms of their societies, their families, their classmates, and so many others that pushed their cis-normative lifestyles in the queens’ faces. Yet these people persevered for a performance art that they embraced. It was inspiring.
I still watch RuPaul’s Drag Race. I just finished up the 3rd season of RuPaul Down Under, where Ru and his judges evaluated queens from Australia and New Zealand. It was glorious.
Lucky for me, there is no RuPaul series on right now. In less than 2 weeks, I leave for 3 weeks in Vietnam. I don’t want to miss any RuPaul shenanigans while I finally get to travel away.
PS - Season 4 of RuPaul’s Drag Race UK just started!
