Farewell Facebook

So I’ve been having a love hate relationship with Facebook for years.  I have gone on Facebook vacations where I only log on once a week or I don’t post for a month.  Don’t get me wrong.  Facebook has been good to me.  On Facebook I have connected to old friends from grade school, high school, and beyond.  I follow social influencers on feminism, body positivity, vulnerability, and books.  I get links to NPR on Facebook.  I learn about cool happenings in Salt Lake City on Facebook.   I use Facebook to advertise my yoga classes, share my hiking photos, and find out what my Buddhist Sangha is doing.  

I’ve decided to cut my ties with Facebook.  It’s not easy for me.  Especially during the pandemic.  I’ve been turning to Facebook since early March to “connect” with friends I would normally see in person.  While I was in quarantine, Facebook and Zoom provided my daily dose of who’s out there and what are they doing.  But no more.  I am turning in my resignation to Facebook and giving my two week notice.

Why?  Some of the more obvious reasons...Facebook uses computer algorithms to determine what I see.  I don’t choose all that content, some computer program does.  Now I can certainly choose to instead go from friend’s page to friend’s page and see what I can learn about them.  I can work on hiding ads that I don’t like.  But I have to “see” the ad to hide it.  If I click on that ad then I am going to end up with even more similar ads.  I like the idea that the system can understand my demographic and give me advertisements more geared to my interests.  I understand advertising is how Facebook makes money so that for my use it is free.  What I don’t like is hearing that this same concept is used to drive the news or fake news that I see in my feed.  I don’t like hearing that my lens on the world is crafted by a computer program.  The computer program doesn’t have a soul (I wrote many a computer program; I can validate this fact).  So if some message that it’s sending me is dishonest or deceitful the program doesn’t know.

And what about all that information that Facebook is gathering on me?  Every key click, every letter typed, is being stored somewhere.  Do I have anything to hide?  Well no.  But does that mean I want to share all of my words and my thoughts with the technology world?  Facebook seems so savvy with all of the security controls where I can lock down who can see my profile and I can choose who in the Facebook world can see my posts.  I can even choose which friends can see certain posts.  But what about Facebook and their algorithms.  What can they see?  Everything!

Right now we are in the middle of a cultural divide that’s bigger than anything I have memory of in my lifetime, and Facebook is feeding the fire.  The more I comment on and post liberal views, the more the algorithm will feed me information that aligns with the liberal views.  These views aren’t peaceful either.  They spit hatred at anyone who thinks differently.  I’ve seen posts on my more conservative friends’ pages.  They spit similar hatred.  It seems to have come down to us vs. them.  I saw this divide initially when the COVID crisis started and people were refuting masks (which they still are.  I have one acquaintance who says, “My lips are my mask”).  Now I see hateful speech for and against masks, the economy, people of color, the Supreme Court, and the election.  It’s maddening.  We can’t come together as a society if we stand in our tribal corners and shout, “If you aren’t with me you are just wrong”.

Lastly I find Facebook is an addiction, a time suck.  The “likes” can be akin to a hit of a drug: I keep going out on Facebook and checking to see if someone “liked” or commented on my post.  I check and see where someone else went hiking or what their kid is wearing for Halloween.  Who has the best memes?  What is my friend in Montana up to today?  I scroll through those bits and hours wander away.  Who wants that?  I could be reading, writing, even playing online Boggle.

So I am leaving Facebook, actually deleting my account.  To me, it feels like I’m jumping off a cliff.  But I know, it’s not a cliff.  I survived before Facebook and I will survive afterwards.  It’s just kind of scary.  I mean knowing there’s that other world out there but not knowing what’s going on in it.  I get a weird sort of FOMO for Facebook when I think about it.

But here’s the thing.  I should be getting FOMO for all the stuff I’m not doing when I’m on Facebook.  I could be reading more.  Writing more.  Playing my violin more.  Doing all sorts of creative things.  Oh yeah my glass art.  When’s the last time I took time to make something that will go in the kiln?  

I made a plan.  For those who like to see my hiking photos I set up a gallery on my website - the same site that hosts these blog posts.  For those who use Facebook to learn about what I am teaching in my yoga class for the week and if class will be held inside or outside, I’ve made a page on my website for that information as well.  So yeah, I’m going to be just fine.  I think.  It will force me to really connect with people who I just tangentially watch on the sidelines of Facebook.  While I know I can’t see a lot of people in person these days, I can still call or email them.  We can Zoom with each other.  I was so thrilled when I connected to friends from high school on Facebook.  Why?  So I can see their photos of halcyon days and their pristine yards?  Really?  Why not have a true connection through a call or email?  I need to see this alternative goodness because it’s really out there.  

So I’ve set the timer.  I posted a Facebook post with my website listed and started the countdown.  It’s sort of like the feeling I’ve had when I’ve moved or changed jobs.  It’s scary.  I may lose some people.  What I gain will be so much more.